ladydrace: (Sexy Dean)
I think I've had something of a light bulb moment about my bisexual leanings. I've always known I was predominantly straight, but every once in a while I'd see a girl and go: "wow, I'd hit that!"

So about 90% straight perhaps. Maybe 80%. *shrug* In any case, there's totally room for a few girls here and there in my eye-candy folder.

However, it occurred to me today that I have yet to feel any sort of romantic attraction to women. When I'm horny, either gender can apparently float my boat, but when I'm aiming for a relationship, I have so far only wanted men.

I've even made a conscious effort of wondering if a woman couldn't fill the same need with me (because damn, there are some gorgeous gay and bi ladies in my circle of acquaintances) but sadly, it seems I'm just not wired that way.

That isn't to say I don't like the company of women. Hell, 99% of my (limited) social life is provided by women. And maybe that's kind of the problem. I know women, maybe a little too well. Men will always be a little bit of a wonder to me, I think. (Freud would have a field day with this, and the lack of steady father figures in my childhood...)

Oh, and it's worth noting here (which I'm sure would interest certain scientists) that trans men have the same effect on me.

As a closing note, I can think of no better time than this to add that I'm totally available for lovin'. Just say the word. :o)
ladydrace: (Mind in the gutter)
I finally managed to have a sex dream featuring Richard Speight Jr. It was hot. Fuck yeah.

Thank you, brain. You know I love you, really.
ladydrace: (Doktor Svans)
For many (and currently unimportant) reasons, I found myself reading about asexuality on Tumblr yesterday. And OMG, I found it pretty damn scary.

Now, I understand that Tumblr is a good place to vent your frustrations over the complete lack of understanding you meet as an asexual (or otherwise difficult to label) person. But frankly I was startled by the lack of understanding in their own camp. So your family doesn't understand the concept of asexuality. That's upsetting. I get that. But did anyone stop to think that maybe we poor hetero people find the concept as difficult to grasp as you do the idea of actually wanting to have sex?

Telling your folks that you're asexual doesn't mean that they magically understand what that even is. Give it time.

Also, if you're in your teens, I wish you'd give it just a little more time before deciding that just because you have not yet felt any interest in sex in the 5 or so years since your body was even ready for that sort of thing, that it will be impossible to feel any such desire in the next 80 years too. That your poor parents would even suggest such a thing does not sex-nazis make.

Jesus.

TL;DR: I guess there's wank in ANY community.

Tranny icon very appropriate.
ladydrace: (Naughty Doctor)
One of the few good things about not really being able to get out of bed all day is that every now and then you have an EPIC dream!

Totally NSFW dream under here! )

ladydrace: (GarakBashir Kiss)
I'm having a really crap day and since this lovely tumblr pic cheered me up much, I thought I'd share. Go Here. NSFW, but not too explicit either. Just some cute, sexy, gay kissing. My favorite kind. Maybe I should consider reposting it on my own, neglected tumblr account...
ladydrace: (Naughty Doctor)
Yes, this is another TMI post. You have been warned.

Having time to spend on myself has given me plenty of opportunity to explore my body and physical reactions. I've learned so many new things about myself in a very short time span that I've come to a few unexpected conclusions.

First of all, if anyone ever again claims that because I'm fat I must have body issues, I will bloody well film myself in my throes of passion while pleasuring myself and dare them to make that statement again. I haven't minded much in the past because I always feared deep down that they were right. But fucking hell if I don't love my body. A lot. Who cares about weight, stretch marks, skin issues or whatever when you can make yourself feel that good and enjoy every bit of your own body so damn much? I sure don't.

Secondly, I alwas sort of naïvely assumed that there was only one kind of orgasm. I knew already that the sensations were somewhat different depending on what was giving me pleasure, but now I've narrowed it down to 3 different types that I've experienced myself and been aware of. There are probably as many kinds of orgasms as there are people, but these 3 applies to me personally.

There is the point stimulated orgasm. Basically it means I touch my clit and practically nothing else. It was the first kind I knew of and have practised it with great pleasure for many years now. At first I couldn't climax unless I was on my front, tensing my leg muscles as much as possible and keeping my legs straight. Over the years I've expanded my options, but I still need to tense my legs to make it over the brink. That particular orgasm is mostly felt as a rushing/jerking wave from my groin to my scalp and back down again. Usually very powerful but with minimum effort. It also gives me substabtial stress relief. I like a nap after this but I can do without.

Then there is the internally stimulated one, which so far has only happened during sex with another person. I've not yet managed to bring myself off on my own like this with toys or whatever and I think I might know why. It's more of a full-body experience. I need someone to brace against and move with. I tense practically every muscle in my body, especially my abs, and with enough combined inner friction (g-spot stimulation isn't neccessary, but totally a bonus) and outer tension we have fireworks. Spots before my eyes, rushing in my ears, very visible blushing of my entire upper body. I feel it over my entire body and for hours after I'll still feel a pleasant buzz. This is also the only type of orgasm I can do multiples of.  Strangely enough, despite the enormous amount of energy needed for this sort of activity, I often feel very energetic afterwards. Not much stress relief, but I suspect that has to do with the other person and all the feelings involved.

And now I've defined yet another one. Multi-stimulated. It's a bit of a mix of the other two, but completely doable solo. It's any outer stimulation I can think of (and I can think of a LOT!) and as much inner stimulation as I can manage on my own. This apparently ends up giving me an orgasm like a gunshot. Very brief spike of pleasure that brings me over but doesn't linger like the other two. But fuck I need a rest afterwards. It's like my spine melts and cannot keep me upright until I've at least rested a bit. And I've never been vocal on my own before, but I certainly am when I do this. Phew. Basically it's given me a whole new appreciation for areas of my body I wasn't even aware of. By being rough in some places and gentle in others it's like getting the best of everything. And things I thought would never turn me on can easily do so now if I do them just right. Not going to go into details with this. Just gonna say that many of my fanfics feel a lot more realistic now.

Basically, it's amazing what you can do with a little imagination and some time on your hands.

Now if only I hadn't been too busy having sex with myself to remember my doctor's appointment. Hmpf.
ladydrace: (Default)
Had very detailed sex dream about me and Sid.

Need a cigarette now... and I don't even smoke.

Unf.

Oh crap...

Aug. 10th, 2010 10:36 am
ladydrace: (Default)
Thinking back, I suddenly realize that B and I had sex once after he slept with floozie. He did say they protected themselves, but even if that wasn't a lie, I'm suddenly considering that my weird discharge and shifting pains (now also when urinating :oS ) could be an STD. Yeikes! It's no secret that floozie has somewhat more sexual experience, so it's definitely a possibility she could pass something on.

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow and I think I'll get another appointment straight away for a full checkup.

God... if this is chlamydia or gonorrea, I think I might snap and be really, really unkind...
ladydrace: (Default)
First of all, Pea has been something of a nightmare today. He decided to sleep very little and give me very short breaks. And when he was awake, he was apparently very intent on having power struggles over practically anything.

It started early. He didn't want to take his early nap, despite being very tired. So we went off to daycare early and his caretaker was more than happy to try and tuck him in there. I had to instruct her on how to work the breaks and such on the baby carriage, but because I have about as much spine as wet cotton when it comes to stuff like this, I wasn't able to ask her to shut her trap and look while I was showing her the trick. So when I picked up the carriage, the break was trashed. No doubt she used violence on it. And now it locks at even more random times than before.

As if that wasn't enough, she uncerimoniously threw whatever toys he had in the carriage into the "basket" underneath... which was full of rainwater and muck. So they had to be washed. *sigh*

I was nervous about his first nap at daycare, so I stayed nearby and just walked around the area. In pouring rain. Only bright spot was finding an outdoor cage with birds in it. The cocatiels were very cute and talkative and the budgerigars were intent on giving me a very loud, yet very loving porn show. Ahem.

Pea slept ok at daycare, though, but the second I came home he woke up and was immediately ready to battle me for every little thing. *sigh*

Second nap of the day proved to be the worst timing ever. Which was what led to my earlier frustrated post. As soon as I started walking around with Pea to get him to sleep, the noise began. It was dead quiet moments before, but suddenly the whole fucking neighbourhood was full of people with jackhammers, chainsaws, ground pounders, lawn mowers, trucks and whatever else you can think of in the heavy machinery category. It did abate eventually and Pea was just about to fall asleep when a fucking helicopter came overhead, flying so low it ruffled my hair! I see maybe 2 helicopters a year! What are the fucking odds?! And then I could just go ahead and start over.

When he was finally asleep, he only slept for maybe half an hour, so when hubby came home, I was so ready for a break you don't believe it. Pea was still being rebellious, though and managed to break a fruit bowl 5 mins into my break. So hubby held Pea away from the shards, while I swept up the mess. While I was at it, I cleaned the bathroom floor. Back to my break. A short while later, Pea slipped and smacked his head against the radiator, hard enough to get a small cut on his lip. After that, only mommy would do. *sigh*

So no more break for me.

On a somewhat more positive note, I think I was offered a booty call today. Of the internet kind. A guy in my guild on World of Warcraft actually offered me an orgasm either in game or by some other IM. LOL! It was actually a very sweet offer, but it's too close to infidelity for me. It's just the web, yes, but it's still getting off with someone who is not my hubby, so I respectfully declined.

But hey, how often do you get naughty offers like that when you're a close to 30 married mother?

So if you're reading this, Marphas... thanks! I take it as a huge compliment. :oD
ladydrace: (Default)
Myth: People can tell whether you masturbate by how your penis looks.
 

Masturbation does not change the appearance of your penis. (It does tend to cause an erection, but that usually goes away when you're finished.)

Grabbed from http://www.jackinworld.com/resources/myths-facts/people-can-tell-whether-you-masturbate-how-your-penis-looks

I laughed. Oh, pervy mind, how I love you.

Also, I still don't have a masturbation icon. That's not right...

ladydrace: (Default)
I have lots more depressing shit to post, but damn, I've posted too much of that lately. So instead, here is my sweet revenge for hubby's blunder a minute ago.

He was reading over my shoulder as I was opening an LJ notification about a reply to one of my comments. He read it out loud and then mumbled: "You've got some weird friends, honey." After about 30 seconds of tense silence, I said: "Babe... I wrote that." He apologized, but I made it clear that for this blunder he would have to suffer me making it public on LJ. So there you are. Feel free to laugh at my hubby's expense.

Don't feel sorry for him, though. Last night we had absolutely mind-blowing sex. For the first time in ages. Man. I was shaking for hours after. I'm tempted to offer details, but recently I realized that my sister reads this journal occasionally. *waves* Hi, Sis! Better not break her brain, then...

However, if you ask in comments...
ladydrace: (Default)
Just read the "offenses" and if you've done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read each "offense" and added up your total fine.

When you are done post this as "My fine is $........"

You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.


EDIT: I admit it. I've tweaked this one violently. Just so nobody gets confused. :oP
EDIT #2: I post the original fines below, because apparently, I'm the only one who gets why this is funny.


Damn I fap a lot... )
ladydrace: (Default)
These last few days have been... uhm... yeah.

Yesterday I found myself fulfilling a prompt on [livejournal.com profile] kinkme_merlin . Uhm...  I was supposed to finish some G/B. I promised myself. Buuut... no.
Will probably post it sometime. It's pretty OOC, but it's porn, so who cares. Also, the OP was happy. Mission accomplished.

Also yesterday, I checked out a link I got from [livejournal.com profile] syredronning . Lots of goooood stuff there, and I would grab like mad, if it wasn't because most of those pictures are un-grabbable. Does anyone know how to grab pics off tumblr? Of course, I could always screencap and get them like that, but I would prefer an easier way.

Since I was checking out the naughty stuff on that site, hubby issued the challenge, that "if I was that horny, I would be better off jumping him!". So I did. There was ripping of panties, dirty talk and lube. Lots of lube. It was great. Damn I needed that.

There were lots of other things I wanted to post, but I'm just too fucking sleepy. I'll probably call it a night soon.
ladydrace: (Default)
Well, that sucked.

Hubby and I had a nice quiet dinner, Pea was asleep and all was well. Some intense smooching later, we were in bed getting it on. Since we were both feeling so relaxed and comfortable, we gave anal sex a shot. I haven't been able to relax properly while I've been so ill, so it really was a gamble. It all seemed to be going so well, the pain was managable and I was even getting to that good point where it's really REALLY good, but then, suddenly, I couldn't any longer. Fuck. It was just getting good, damnit!!

Thing is, when I'm not used to anal sex, it takes an awful lot of concentration to keep relaxed. Not sure if this is true for all anal, or just me personally, but if I lose my focus and forget to relax and push back the right way, it hurts. Horribly.

So what did that get me? An hour of hard work, trouble with sitting, a passed out hubby and a whole freakin load of sexual frustration. GAH!!!
ladydrace: (Default)
It's morning... fuck. I have half an hour to get out the door, but gawd... my eyes feel like they're glued together. No wonder. Pea usually sleeps through the night, but last night he decided that midnight was a good time to get up. And just to add insult to injury, he decided to wake up just as we were having some sweet sex. Gah. Frustrations aplenty. When he was finally ready to sleep again, so were we. Very much so. Thank god hubby was ok with getting up with Pea this morning for his first feeding. I was basically out cold.

I need caffeine. Too bad I don't drink coffee. Cola will have to do.

Also, it's December 1st! Christmas is approaching fast! Scary, really.

I'm sure there was something else I wanted to say... but brain... it iz ded...

Socks... I need socks...

*oozing to the kitchen for cola*
ladydrace: (Default)
I want to write. I neeeeed to write. But the fucking muses won't come. As soon as I have paper (or a blank wordpad) in front of me, I just freeze. Fuck. Just... fuck.
These days I have 3 fics teasing in the back of my mind all the time. A Merlin/Arthur modern AU (not started writing this yet), around the song Ramalama Bang Bang, with Arthur as a dancer. A smutty Garak/Bashir fic about, uhm... human anatomy and another Garak/Bashir I've been working on for a good long while and would really like to finish.

In other news, I got ogled in the bus today. I'm fairly sure it was ogling. I haven't exactly had much experience with being ogled, but it was the only explanation I could come up with, after catching the guy watching me three times in a row. After making sure I had nothing on my face or clothes, or anything else weird that would warrent staring, I gathered it must have been my uhm... pose that did it. I realized I was tilting my head back in a way that made my clevage very prominent and may or may not have presented my neck in a display worthy of a vampire's next meal. I enjoyed it. Wouldn't you have? And the guy wasn't bad looking, either.

And as usual, my mother in law is pissing me off. It's basically a detail, but it merely underlines her need to impose her own standards upon everyone else. *sigh*

Oh and just as an extra insult, I just cannot have sex right now. Masturbate, sure. But sex? It's just too damn exhausting. :o( And as eager as hubby is, he's not prepared to do all the work. Not that I would want him to, either. It's by far the best sex when I'm on top. Ahem.
This annoys me a lot, but I guess I'll just have to be patient. I'm sure it'll come back once therapy and stress reaches more bearable levels. In the meantime I'll just have to be cranky!wife. *grumble*

Too tired to write my latest Merlin review. Might get around to it tomorrow, might not. Only time will tell.

Now off for bed. Goodnight f-list! *hugs*

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Lady Drace

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