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Woah.
You never know exactly how much crap you own, until you need to go through it all. *gulp*
At least I've been better at trimming my book collection. Hubby has got maybe three times the books I do.
Oh and, I'm going to stop f-locking again, since it's now been made official both on Facebook and in general that we're getting a divorce.
Which begs the question... what do I call him now? Currently, he's still hubby, but when we move I'll have to think of something else. "The ex" carries something negative, even though in his case it would be true. He will be THE ex. The only one I ever had. Maybe I'll just follow the example of many others and use his letter. B. Don't know many people with B names.
And another funny note. Hubby/B has been much more attentive to his looks these past few days. Methinks he's trying to impress someone, and it sure isn't me. The other woman is finally calming down and realising that it's not her fault, and she and Hubby/B have been chatting and texting a lot. So maybe they're going to be something after all. But! She's a LOT younger than him, so I kinda suspect that he's making an effort to seem younger. Personally, I find it hilarious.
Which makes me wonder just how this is all affecting me. Am I holding off my grief until I can be by myself, or is it really this easy? We're joking and talking like we always have and I feel only a tiny sting when I think of the permanent goodbye soon to come. I'm excited about getting my own place and I haven't taken a benzo since Thursday.
It might just be my escapist nature getting a kick out of finally being allowed to run away from it all. But if it is, I'll shamelessly use the high it's giving me to get this process over with smoothly.
And honestly, I cannot WAIT until it's hubby's turn to be alone with Pea. Completely alone, like I have been a lot lately. I feel kinda mean for thinking "welcome to my world!" but considering his recent fuck-ups I'll allow myself this small pleasure. And also, I'm so absurdly excited for getting some real free time for myself. I'm even considering trying to go out to dance. I haven't done that since my anxiety issues got worse. But damn, I miss it.
At least I've been better at trimming my book collection. Hubby has got maybe three times the books I do.
Oh and, I'm going to stop f-locking again, since it's now been made official both on Facebook and in general that we're getting a divorce.
Which begs the question... what do I call him now? Currently, he's still hubby, but when we move I'll have to think of something else. "The ex" carries something negative, even though in his case it would be true. He will be THE ex. The only one I ever had. Maybe I'll just follow the example of many others and use his letter. B. Don't know many people with B names.
And another funny note. Hubby/B has been much more attentive to his looks these past few days. Methinks he's trying to impress someone, and it sure isn't me. The other woman is finally calming down and realising that it's not her fault, and she and Hubby/B have been chatting and texting a lot. So maybe they're going to be something after all. But! She's a LOT younger than him, so I kinda suspect that he's making an effort to seem younger. Personally, I find it hilarious.
Which makes me wonder just how this is all affecting me. Am I holding off my grief until I can be by myself, or is it really this easy? We're joking and talking like we always have and I feel only a tiny sting when I think of the permanent goodbye soon to come. I'm excited about getting my own place and I haven't taken a benzo since Thursday.
It might just be my escapist nature getting a kick out of finally being allowed to run away from it all. But if it is, I'll shamelessly use the high it's giving me to get this process over with smoothly.
And honestly, I cannot WAIT until it's hubby's turn to be alone with Pea. Completely alone, like I have been a lot lately. I feel kinda mean for thinking "welcome to my world!" but considering his recent fuck-ups I'll allow myself this small pleasure. And also, I'm so absurdly excited for getting some real free time for myself. I'm even considering trying to go out to dance. I haven't done that since my anxiety issues got worse. But damn, I miss it.
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I should probably just stop talking since I don't really know what I am talking about. But I am thinking good thoughts for all of you.