Aww *hugs* This could be a tricky situation but I'm sure it will be ok in the end. If I was you i'd avoid shouting because if you yell at her to get your point across you may end up accidently hurting her feelings and she may not want to lend a hand in the future. I'm sure if you talk to your husband he'd be happy to sit down with you and his mom and discuss it.

Maybe you could get together and explain that while you are very grateful you want to try and handle some things. Perhaps you could ask if she could help out by just dropping by to help out for a few hours a week or something rather than coming round to do a huge cleanup? Or you could ask if she'd be willing to help in other area's instead like maybe dropping round with some dinner for you and your husband, because you might not feel up to cooking while caring for the baby.

I'm sorry I'm not much help =\ I hope things work out for you lovie *hugs again*