Hmmm. I don't know, I think when something you try to avoid or at least partly fear actually happens, I think it's a big relief. And since I've been in your husband's shoes as far as the infidelity goes, I have experienced the incredible freedom of not trying to hide and try to lie convincingly. And the pressure of not wanting to disappoint the other person or look good to them is kind of off, so you can be more free to talk. The one time we were seriously planning to get divorced I got all excited about having my own place and some time to myself without the kid.