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Baby babble!
So, today we finally managed to arrange the bedroom to make room for the crib and the two dressers my mom bought us. It took a few hours of cursing and huffing, but we did manage it in the end. And just when we were done setting things up in the bedroom, I had my very first complete fit of mommy-jitters!
I haven't really been thinking all that much about The Green Pea as a person yet. Maybe because we don't know a gender or just because it's still largely an unknown entity. Anyway, I caught myself thinking about where to put the toys and stuff and suddenly the whole thing came crashing down, feeling more real to me than it has in the entire pregnancy. My stomach fluttered and I got kinda dizzy just from the sudden reality overload. I'm gonna be a mom. No really... I.... am gonna be... a mom!
A little kid is gonna be calling me mom! I mean... mom! For a kid, that translates roughly to 'god'! The equal parts horror and elation that coursed through me just then are second to none. Perfectly normal, I'm sure. But at the time, it sure felt anything BUT normal. It's almost a supernatural experience. This is something bigger than me. Than us. Than... everything! I've often called it 'the miracle of life' but the very deepest meaning of the word never really hit home until now.
I have a miracle inside me. I really do! It's mindboggling to say the least. You can keep your waterwalking, turning water into wine, virgin mary on toast and potato chip shaped like baby jesus. I got my miracle right here. And it pawns all the other ones. Hugely.
I haven't really been thinking all that much about The Green Pea as a person yet. Maybe because we don't know a gender or just because it's still largely an unknown entity. Anyway, I caught myself thinking about where to put the toys and stuff and suddenly the whole thing came crashing down, feeling more real to me than it has in the entire pregnancy. My stomach fluttered and I got kinda dizzy just from the sudden reality overload. I'm gonna be a mom. No really... I.... am gonna be... a mom!
A little kid is gonna be calling me mom! I mean... mom! For a kid, that translates roughly to 'god'! The equal parts horror and elation that coursed through me just then are second to none. Perfectly normal, I'm sure. But at the time, it sure felt anything BUT normal. It's almost a supernatural experience. This is something bigger than me. Than us. Than... everything! I've often called it 'the miracle of life' but the very deepest meaning of the word never really hit home until now.
I have a miracle inside me. I really do! It's mindboggling to say the least. You can keep your waterwalking, turning water into wine, virgin mary on toast and potato chip shaped like baby jesus. I got my miracle right here. And it pawns all the other ones. Hugely.