Therapy and stuff...

[ladydrace]

Therapy today was a doozey. First the group session where I did my best to participate, despite feeling so mentally tired that I thought I would pass out. Then my personal session where I spent most of the time trying to explain exactly what made me so tired and 5 mins before my time was up, I started crying. And kept on crying. Eventually I left my shrink's office and went to the bathroom to finish crying. I think I stood there for about 10 mins and sobbed my heart out. When it was over I was completely numb.

I went grocery shopping through the busy streets that usually make me uneasy, but I didn't feel a thing. Nothing at all. I'm not sure that's a good thing. Aren't I supposed to get more in touch with my feelings? I'm worried that I'm simply filing it somewhere in my brain until it runs over again. And that really sucks. But I dunno. I'm confused, concerned and tired. So very very tired. My soul is heavy and I feel old.

I'm too tired to write more.

Comments

[lonespark.livejournal.com]

And also, it sounds like a good thing that the therapy is letting you be in touch with your feelings in a safe environment, and then they aren't affecting you as much in the rest of your life. Hopefully doing that will get a little less painful and exhausting in the future, but you are doing really hard work, so of course you feel tired and old.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I knew before I started that it would be seriously hard. That doesn't stop me from whining about it, though. ;o)