Oh, God help me.

[ladydrace]

I can't take this. I really can't.

The divorce was easy. But this shit about sharing Pea? It's a living, breathing nightmare.  Fuck.

Nipped over to B today to drop off some things and say hi to my baby. Strange woman opens the door. Turns out to be lady from downstairs with her 1½ old girl. I wasn't prepared for that, but ok. Pea playing with neighbours is good. Floozie was there. Wasn't prepared for that either, but that's starting to feel like routine. Pea seemed happy, which was possibly mostly because of all the cake he was served. Then downstairs lady told me that she put Pea down for the night yesterday.

What.

The.

Hell.

And as if that wasn't enough, she proceeded to ask me how we handled his sleeping routine, because she'd had an easy time getting him to sleep. Of course you would, you empty-headed cow. You're a stranger. You leaving the room doesn't break his heart like it does when his parents do.

Oh and let's see... all those months I spent on his sleeping routine clearly means I don't know anything about my own baby. All those chats I've had with the social workers and child specialists surely means that I need to be lectured by the mother of a child only marginally older than my own, with the only certificate of knowledge to be: "When my baby was that age". Yeah. Like 3 months ago.

I don't even know where to start. With killing B for handing Pea over to a complete stranger (what was he doing in the meantime? Making out with Floozie on the couch??), killing the woman for thinking she knows ANYTHING AT ALL about me, B or Pea, or kicking floozie's ass just for being there all the time and getting to spend time with Pes that should be reserved for B.

I don't even.. I'm so angry... so worried. So upset. So horrified and sad and crying, crying, crying. I've asked B to set some time aside for us to have a serious chat. This cannot go on. This is going to kill me. There isn't enough duct tape in the world to put my shattered heart back together again.

Comments

[kerry-louise.livejournal.com]

*hugs hard*

That's just not on at all!

Kicking Floozie's ass wouldn't help, but I'd kick B's arse into gear for him! His child, his responcibility, it's as simple as that!

[inne-ic.livejournal.com]

Jamen hvad tænker han dog på. For ind i H......!!! Min første reaktion er, at han overhovedet ikke er klar/moden til at passe sit eget barn. Det er en hård udtalelse, men jeg mener det! Det er fuldstændig utilgiveligt at overlade sit barn til en fremmed på den måde! Jeg kan mærke at min indre pædagog skriger lige nu. Er der nogen du kan kontakte som du har tillid til. Social rådgiver(hedder de stadig det?) Jeg tænker at dig og X meget hurtugt skal have etableret hvordan tingene skal være når han har Pea, og eller kan han bare ikke have ham!! Og undskyld hvis det her ikke gør det bedre for dig, men jeg er bekymret for dit barn og for dig!! Jeg håber du klarer dig. *Kram*

[lovefan81.livejournal.com]

Un-fucking-believable! The next time you'll see him you should make it clear that if he wants to be a father to his son he should actually be around!
Can't believe it!

*hugs*

[myworldmytrue.livejournal.com]

I know it's not my place to say, but your ex-husband...kind of an asshole. And an irresponsible one at that. Seriously, he needs to get his act together. Yes, a serious chat is called for.

*big hugs*

[lonespark.livejournal.com]

What?

Is your husband just totally not interested in raising his child? Also that woman can drink a bit glass of STFU.

OTOH, it doesn't seem like anyone's harming or neglecting Pea in ways that matter that much at his age. You aren't going to be able to control how Pea's life is when he's not with you. If you have specific agreements with B, hold him to them. Otherwise, when Pea is away, try to do things that aren't upsetting for you.

[mrs-picard.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I would concentrate on being mad at B, to be honest. The woman just wanted to help, most likely. I mean she doesn't mean to hurt you. I'd be somewhat relieved that someone who seems to at least know SOMETHING about kids Pea's age took care of him. Considering how irresponsible B is, this can only be good IMO. Imagine he forgot to take care of Pea because he was busy with Floozie or whatever. THAT would be A LOT worse than that woman taking care of Pea IMO. Just my two cents, though.

Honestly, it can't go on like this. B needs to be told to either get a grip OR he can kiss you AND Pea goodbye for quite some time. I mean NO court would hand Pea over to HIM, so, threatening you with a lawyer or whatever would not help him. Not that I think he'd do that. Given the way he behaves, he'd probably be RELIEVED if you told him that you're no longer going to take Pea over to him. :/

[lonespark.livejournal.com]

Mrs. P has said most of the things I would have said if I were good at being diplomatic. Pea being safe is your problem. B acting like a crap father and/or human being is not in your control and therefore mostly not your problem, except as it really impacts Pea's health or safety.

You're doing such an awesome job building a good new life for your awesome self and your awesome baby. I hate to see you ceding power over your ability to be calm or happy to your no-good ex or to random busybodies who probably don't mean to hurt or insult you particularly.

On the one hand I'd be totally pissed if my kid's own dad kept handing over most of the caring tasks to someone else when he didn't have to. (Which he has done when we had roommates and stuff, grrr.) On the other hand a big part of the goal is just for the kids to know they have a father who loves them and likes to be around them, even if he doesn't change as many diapers as would be fair or even reasonable. And that's on top of the even more basic goal of everyone being as healthy and safe as necessary then further as healthy and safe possible without mom doing too much or dad doing too little.

[casenumber825.livejournal.com]

If I were you I'd direct your anger to B, give that man needs to get a grip on reality and his responsibilities.

He doesn't seem to understand the basics on spending time with a child, it's not just feed, change and then send them to sleep.
(I wouldn't even do that to my horse)

It's good that you're going to have a chat to him, you really do need to, for both your sake and Pea's happiness with his father.

[dianadisaster.livejournal.com]

oh, bb. *hugs*

[mithrel.livejournal.com]

Oh man, honey! You need to remove his dick with a spork! (And I know jack shit about the custody laws in Denmark, but if this keeps up you should see if you can get full custody.)