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Oh, God help me.
I can't take this. I really can't.
The divorce was easy. But this shit about sharing Pea? It's a living, breathing nightmare. Fuck.
Nipped over to B today to drop off some things and say hi to my baby. Strange woman opens the door. Turns out to be lady from downstairs with her 1½ old girl. I wasn't prepared for that, but ok. Pea playing with neighbours is good. Floozie was there. Wasn't prepared for that either, but that's starting to feel like routine. Pea seemed happy, which was possibly mostly because of all the cake he was served. Then downstairs lady told me that she put Pea down for the night yesterday.
What.
The.
Hell.
And as if that wasn't enough, she proceeded to ask me how we handled his sleeping routine, because she'd had an easy time getting him to sleep. Of course you would, you empty-headed cow. You're a stranger. You leaving the room doesn't break his heart like it does when his parents do.
Oh and let's see... all those months I spent on his sleeping routine clearly means I don't know anything about my own baby. All those chats I've had with the social workers and child specialists surely means that I need to be lectured by the mother of a child only marginally older than my own, with the only certificate of knowledge to be: "When my baby was that age". Yeah. Like 3 months ago.
I don't even know where to start. With killing B for handing Pea over to a complete stranger (what was he doing in the meantime? Making out with Floozie on the couch??), killing the woman for thinking she knows ANYTHING AT ALL about me, B or Pea, or kicking floozie's ass just for being there all the time and getting to spend time with Pes that should be reserved for B.
I don't even.. I'm so angry... so worried. So upset. So horrified and sad and crying, crying, crying. I've asked B to set some time aside for us to have a serious chat. This cannot go on. This is going to kill me. There isn't enough duct tape in the world to put my shattered heart back together again.
The divorce was easy. But this shit about sharing Pea? It's a living, breathing nightmare. Fuck.
Nipped over to B today to drop off some things and say hi to my baby. Strange woman opens the door. Turns out to be lady from downstairs with her 1½ old girl. I wasn't prepared for that, but ok. Pea playing with neighbours is good. Floozie was there. Wasn't prepared for that either, but that's starting to feel like routine. Pea seemed happy, which was possibly mostly because of all the cake he was served. Then downstairs lady told me that she put Pea down for the night yesterday.
What.
The.
Hell.
And as if that wasn't enough, she proceeded to ask me how we handled his sleeping routine, because she'd had an easy time getting him to sleep. Of course you would, you empty-headed cow. You're a stranger. You leaving the room doesn't break his heart like it does when his parents do.
Oh and let's see... all those months I spent on his sleeping routine clearly means I don't know anything about my own baby. All those chats I've had with the social workers and child specialists surely means that I need to be lectured by the mother of a child only marginally older than my own, with the only certificate of knowledge to be: "When my baby was that age". Yeah. Like 3 months ago.
I don't even know where to start. With killing B for handing Pea over to a complete stranger (what was he doing in the meantime? Making out with Floozie on the couch??), killing the woman for thinking she knows ANYTHING AT ALL about me, B or Pea, or kicking floozie's ass just for being there all the time and getting to spend time with Pes that should be reserved for B.
I don't even.. I'm so angry... so worried. So upset. So horrified and sad and crying, crying, crying. I've asked B to set some time aside for us to have a serious chat. This cannot go on. This is going to kill me. There isn't enough duct tape in the world to put my shattered heart back together again.
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