Fanfic quote of the day

"Humph.  I certainly haven't heard you complaining Garak." 
 
"One can't complain with one's mouth full." 
 
"You're incorrigible." 
 
"You wouldn't have me any other way, either." 
 
"True." 

From Transported by Cameron Burnell.

Fuck.

It's another one of those days.

Found a letter from friday I forgot to open. Inside was a notice that I had 8 days (Now only 5) to pay just about double of what hubby and I have combined each month AFTER paying bills. Apparently it's some debt from way back when, that I completely forgot about.

Fuck.

Pea has been cranky all day, and frankly, so has hubby. I've been dead tired and depressed, and haven't gotten around to packing away the rattie cage yet. Which means that every time I look at the corner of the living room, I get even more depressed.

I could go on, but no point in wallowing in self pity. Ok, I do, but no point in dragging others down with me.

Merlin 2X10

( Spoiler for Merlin 2x10 I guess. )

Therapy and stuff. Not too depressing.

Ok, so in light of this horrid day, I decided to look ahead to the future.

Last week I had a meeting with my "key-person". It's basically a therapist that I'm connected to, who isn't involved in my direct therapy, and can help guide me through the jungle of wellfare, medicine and even things like family troubles. Basically, she can help me find the help I need other than therapy.

Since my 4 month intense therapy is drawing to a close, she sat down with me to have chat about what would happen after. I will probably keep going to some sort of therapy, but to my surprise, I had a rather large hand in what would happen to me. I feared (a lot) that I would just become the bouncing ball of the wellfare system as I have been before, being sent out to all kinds of places, because they don't know what to do with me. This time, I was actually asked: What would you like? I was about to fall out of my chair.

Thinking it over, my brain kept telling me that I should just beg them all to leave me alone and then stay at home forever. But I know, logically, that that is totally not healthy for me. Getting out of the house at least a few times a week would probably be vital for me. It might take meds, but I want to be able to face the world, so I said as much to my key-person. She agreed that it was probably a good idea and explained to me that I would probably be sent to someplace where my working ability would be evaluated. After that, there would be a chance I could get a job of some kind (in a protected environment) or at least get involved with something non-stressful, just to make sure I don't shut myself in. That's what my kind of personality disorder does, after all. I'm evasive. Meaning I close myself off from the rest of the world. And that's just not healthy.

Ok, so bottom line. Even though I was shaking with insecurity, I declared that I want to try to get out into the world somehow. I'm still incredibly nervous about it, but I think it was the right choice.

What do you guys think? Am I doing the right thing?

(Happy kiss manip icon, just because I love it.)