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Aug. 26th, 2010
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Service message!
Aug. 26th, 2010 03:18 pmIf you are someone I know IRL and read this blog regularly/occasionally/ever, then this message is for you:
I write here when I feel like, what I feel like and however I feel like. I write when I'm angry, upset, sad, happy, amused, whatever.
If I write about something you did in a negative way, then please accept the fact that I probably made you aware of how upset you were making me at the time and you didn't listen. And yes, I exaggerate, but I never lie. If you feel offended by anything you read here, feel free to contact me about it, but remember this:
This is my personal blog. Reading this is a privilege - not a right. If you don't like what you read, don't go here. If you want to drag my ass to court for slander, feel free to do so.
To downstairs lady: Sorry I got your kid's age wrong. I'm still fucking pissed off. I asked you to stop pressing me about the sleeping issue. You wouldn't let it lie. I talk to my friends about it. Sucks to be you.
To Floozie: If you haven't already guessed this, I envy you so incredibly much for getting time with my son and having a hand in what B does with his daddy-time. Having to sit back and let the woman who was the beginning of the end for my first and only relationship take over so much of my son's life is fucking hard for me. I'm pushy, I know that. I apologise if I make you paranoid. But honestly, if someone you hardly knew seemed to have such a large influence on your only child, wouldn't YOU want to check things out as much as you could?
Future warning: I'm going to keep using my journal this way probably way into the future. I usually don't mention names anyone who doesn't know me directly would understand. And those who know me directly either already know about my life or don't read this blog. So drag me to court if you're unhappy. If not, please leave me alone.
Thank you.
I write here when I feel like, what I feel like and however I feel like. I write when I'm angry, upset, sad, happy, amused, whatever.
If I write about something you did in a negative way, then please accept the fact that I probably made you aware of how upset you were making me at the time and you didn't listen. And yes, I exaggerate, but I never lie. If you feel offended by anything you read here, feel free to contact me about it, but remember this:
This is my personal blog. Reading this is a privilege - not a right. If you don't like what you read, don't go here. If you want to drag my ass to court for slander, feel free to do so.
To downstairs lady: Sorry I got your kid's age wrong. I'm still fucking pissed off. I asked you to stop pressing me about the sleeping issue. You wouldn't let it lie. I talk to my friends about it. Sucks to be you.
To Floozie: If you haven't already guessed this, I envy you so incredibly much for getting time with my son and having a hand in what B does with his daddy-time. Having to sit back and let the woman who was the beginning of the end for my first and only relationship take over so much of my son's life is fucking hard for me. I'm pushy, I know that. I apologise if I make you paranoid. But honestly, if someone you hardly knew seemed to have such a large influence on your only child, wouldn't YOU want to check things out as much as you could?
Future warning: I'm going to keep using my journal this way probably way into the future. I usually don't mention names anyone who doesn't know me directly would understand. And those who know me directly either already know about my life or don't read this blog. So drag me to court if you're unhappy. If not, please leave me alone.
Thank you.
Phew, what a day.
Aug. 26th, 2010 05:52 pmHad a meeting with job advisor today. I'm starting Monday. And surprisingly, I'm kinda looking forward to it! I'm going to take Sally the Netbook with me and I'm allowed to just sit there and write fanfic for 2 days a week. Now if that isn't luxury, I don't know what is.
Big, confusing round trip of social advisors and financial people and and and... gah.
Talking with B turned out to be great. I seem to have forgotten that I've actually known the man for almost 10 years, so just because he's done me wrong doesn't mean he's a completely different person. I always believed he would make a good father given the chance and I can see now that I haven't exactly been making it easy for him to prove that he can.
I refuse to end up like those manipulative bitches who just have to know every little thing about their ex's life and sadly, I've come very close to being that woman. And I don't like it. So we agreed that B would let me know what's going on more and I'd butt out more. Pea seems happy and that's all that matters. The rest is basically details. If he ends up somewhat confused, it's only temporary and he will always be loved. Always. I have to remember that.
This doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to get angry, but I just think I should remind myself that as difficult as B has been making things practically, I've been just as bad to him emotionally.
Divorce sucks. I think that's just about the core of this. And no matter what, Floozie and I will always have a somewhat strained relationship. And that's also ok. She's a good person as far as I know and she would never do anything to harm Pea. So I'll live with the weeks of daddy-time and keep my own routines when it's my turn. I cannot control daddy-weeks and I have to stop trying. I have plenty of other things to do with my energy. Like writing porn. *nod*
Also, I'm now the proud owner of a webcam. :oP
Big, confusing round trip of social advisors and financial people and and and... gah.
Talking with B turned out to be great. I seem to have forgotten that I've actually known the man for almost 10 years, so just because he's done me wrong doesn't mean he's a completely different person. I always believed he would make a good father given the chance and I can see now that I haven't exactly been making it easy for him to prove that he can.
I refuse to end up like those manipulative bitches who just have to know every little thing about their ex's life and sadly, I've come very close to being that woman. And I don't like it. So we agreed that B would let me know what's going on more and I'd butt out more. Pea seems happy and that's all that matters. The rest is basically details. If he ends up somewhat confused, it's only temporary and he will always be loved. Always. I have to remember that.
This doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to get angry, but I just think I should remind myself that as difficult as B has been making things practically, I've been just as bad to him emotionally.
Divorce sucks. I think that's just about the core of this. And no matter what, Floozie and I will always have a somewhat strained relationship. And that's also ok. She's a good person as far as I know and she would never do anything to harm Pea. So I'll live with the weeks of daddy-time and keep my own routines when it's my turn. I cannot control daddy-weeks and I have to stop trying. I have plenty of other things to do with my energy. Like writing porn. *nod*
Also, I'm now the proud owner of a webcam. :oP
Fanfic quote of the day
Aug. 26th, 2010 09:47 pmHe was leaving, not only the station, but Julian as well. From (Wish I Had a) Heart of Stone by Cait. N.