Good and bad.

[ladydrace]

Today we got a letter that Pea has been accepted at the daycare we were most happy with! YAY! He'll be starting on the first of February and I can't decide if I'm excited or terrified at the prospect. But it'll be good. I'm sure it will!

Black Funk of Doom keeps making an appearence and I feel worse than I have for a while. I spend a lot of time feeling close to tears or deeply frustrated with everything. Even Pea gets me on edge these days and that is simply unacceptable! I'm really dreading what will happen when Pea is ready for a full day of daycare, because then I'll most likely be put into some sort of work testing program. Not that that's bad, but damn, it scares the living daylights out of me. My insomnia is bad again and that's just adding to the pile of reasons why I feel like shit.

And another thing that really scares me, is that I'm starting to get tempted quite often to take a benzo. Just to get some fucking peace. It scares me even more, because my father's family is one long line of addicts. Alcohol mostly, but medicine too. And I DO NOT WANT to get into that!

I feel so incredibly alone, and yet, I can't stand being around other people. So that's just fucking peachy.

Enough whining.

Comments

[silkmoth101.livejournal.com]

Hey twin! *waves*
Try not to stress about the working program... if you're too ill to work no one can make you. And the benzos... I think it's good you have respect to not take too many but hey, this stuff is there for a reason, for the Black Funk of Doom. So do take them when you need them, okay? Better than... you know. *HUGS*

[mrs-picard.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Congratulations to Pea! And I know what you mean. I am somtimes tempted to take two of three painkillers - they make me dizzy and tired and I can just forget about the whole shit here and just lie there and sleep in PEACE. *hugs*

[lonespark.livejournal.com]

That is awesome for Pea. I suspect he will be the life of the party when he gets to daycare. He is getting to be an age where he can drive you nuts very effectively, so being with some other kids will be fun for him and hopefully burn off some of his energy.

[o-deanna.livejournal.com]

I'm so pleased for Pea! Honestly, I'm sure it will be a wonderful thing. Although it'll take some getting used to, I'm sure.

I'm sorry about the Black Funk Of Doom. I think you're very sensible to be wary of the pills...but if they help?

I'm supposed to be on prescription pain killers all the time, but I really don't want to be constantly popping pills, so I just take them when I need them most. I'm always so pleased when I have an icon to match my comment. XD

Hugs to you anyway, my dear. ♥

[mithrel.livejournal.com]

All I can do is send you a virtual hug and lots of good vibes!