Whee, more MEME!

[ladydrace]

Again snagged from laurelote.

First, you have to pick out and write down 12 Tolkien characters, from number one to twelve.

Then all you have to do is answer the questions.

I recommend that you pick the characters from many races; it makes this meme more funny and interesting. You don’t have to care about timelines either. If you want to pick King Turgon and Frodo Baggins in the same meme, go for it! And please, NO cheating if you want this to be entertaining.

Here is my list:

1. Bilbo Baggins
2. Gollum
3. Balin
4. Witch King of Angmar
5. Meriadoc Brandybuck
6. Rosy Cotton
7. Smaug
8. Celeborn
9. Eowyn
10. Grima Wormtongue
11. Gloin
12. Numenor.

1. Have you ever read a story with 6/11- pairing? Would you like to read?
Rosy Cotton and Gloin. Never heard of it no. I think the timeline would be screwed up. Rosy would probably be a kid when Gimli's dad died. (Don't think he's alive, but I might be wrong.) And no, I don't think I'd like to read it.

2. Do you find #4 hot? How hot?
Whitch King of Angmar...Uhm... more cool than hot honestly.

3. What would happen, if #12 impregnated #8?
Numenor and Celeborn. I'd be very impressed... I know they're both elves, so at least they could exist simultaniously... but elven m-preg? I know they're femme, but there has to be drawn a line somewhere...

4. Do you remember ever reading a story with #9?
A few with Eowyn and Faramir, yes.

5. Would 2/6 suit together?
Gollum and Rosy Cotton? Well... we all know that Rosy knows an idiot when she sees one, so my guess is... no. ;o)

6. 5/9 or 5/10? Pick your favorite one and tell why just this one is your favorite?
Merry and Eowyn or Merry and Grima Wormtongue. The first would be cute... kinda. If you ignore the fact that it would look very suspicious if Eowyn was spotted in a passionate kiss with someone who would be a 'kid to human eyes'. Ahem. The second pairing gives me the creeps. Seriously. Yuck.

7. What would happen, if #7 caught 2 and #12 having sex?
If Smaug caught Gollum and Numenor having sex. Aha. Well disregarding the problem with timeline here, I think he'd just roast them and take all their gold.

8. Write a summary to 3/10-story?
Balin/Grima Wormtongue. (Why does this happen to me? Well... I guess I'll have to.)
Summary: Balin wacks Grima over the head with his big axe.
(There... interpret that as you wish. Go all Freud if you wanna.)

9. Is it possible to write a fluffy story with 1/8?
Bilbo and Celeborn. Hmm. I suppose Celeborn 'could' be considering Bilbo kinda cute and innocent, so maybe.

10. Write a header to 7/12 Hurt/comfort story?
Title: Blast from the Past
Author: ladydrace
Pairing: Smaug/Numenor
Rating: Probably PG. Anything else seems a little weird.
Warnings: Silly
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine etc...
Summary: Smaug recieves a visit from the past, just as his life feels most empty and hollow. It takes the words of a wise old elf to wake him up to all the wonderful gold and gems he has.

11. What kind of plot would you write, if you wanted #4 deflowering #1?
Witch King of Angmar deflowering Bilbo. Gosh. Now there a rape story just waiting to be wrtitten. But oh dear. It would be something freakishly dark and spooky with the dead guy capturing a little tender plaything to warm him up a bit in his icy fortress.

12. Does anyone read femslash/slash stories with #7?
With Smaug? Well he's kind of alone being a dragon, but even if you chose to ignore that, I find it hard to believe anyone would either read or write a pairing with him.

13. Does anyone read het stories with #3?
Balin. It's not impossible. But I have yet to see it.

14. Does anyone write or make fanart with #11?
Gloin. Again, it's possible, but I havn't seen it.

15.Does anyone of your friends write stories with 2/4/5- threesome?
Gollum/Witch King of Angmar/Merry. No. Just... no...

16. What would #10 scream in a moment of release?
Grima Wormtongue. *gurgle* OH YES FINALLY!!! *hiss*

17. If you wrote a songfic with #8, what song would you choose?
Celeborn. Hmm... something with Enya probably, were I ever going to attempt it.

18. If you wrote a story with 1/6/12- threesome, what warnings will be on the header?
Bilbo/Rosy Cotton/Numenor
Uhm... frightening similarities to the conception of Jesus Christ?

19. What would be a suitable slogan from #2 to #10?
Gollum to Grima Wormtongue. "Prrrrrrrrrrresscioussssssss"

20. When have you read a story with #5?
Merry. It's a looooooong time ago. Can't pinpoint.

21. What is a most secret, kinky, weird thing about #6?
Rosy Cotton! She doesn't have anything weird or kinky! But I guess it's kind of an official secret that she's hot for a certain gardener... 

22. Would #11 have sex with #9? Drunk or not drunk?
Gloin and Eowyn. I dunno. I think he'd find her severely lacking in the beard department and she'd probably just be disgusted on many levels. But very very very very drunk I suppose it could happen.

23. If #3 and #7 would end up to the bed together, which one would be on top?
Smaug always tops. Period. And I think poor Balin would have a burnt backside after.

24. "#1 and #9 are happily courting, until #9 suddenly leaves him/her because of #4. #1 is devastated, and has a one-night-stand with #11, then has a short and unhappy relationship with #12. Finally, #5 gives him/her an advice to find a true love with #3." 

"Bilbo and Eowyn are happily courting, until Eowyn suddenly leaves him because of The Witch King of Angmar. Bilbo is devastated, and has a one-night-stand with Gloin, then has a short and unhappy relationship with Numenor. Finally, Merry gives him an advice to find a true love with Balin."

Of course Merry would advice him to stick with the guy who has plenty of beer and food...Bilbo must have gotten ataste for dwarves anyway during his travels with them.

25. What would you say, if 7/8 were a canon-pairing?
Gloin and Numenor. I'd say someone fucked up the timeline.

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