People I just cannot slash...

[ladydrace]

Ok, so my plan was to browse Deviantart for some beautiful m/m-kissing art. That plan quickly morphed into minute after minute of denial as I seem to trip over a lot of pairing I just cannot see slashed tonight. Now, I'm completely prepared to be met with a lot of different fandoms when browsing random slash, but I just seem to be extra lucky tonight.

So! As a service to my f-list, I thought I'd compile a little quick list of characters/fandoms I just cannot slash. I'm all for beautiful boy/boy lovin, but some things just doesn't race my motor and certain things make me go EEEEK!!

The EEEK!:

Ninja Turtles.
I love these guys, and as much as I can imagine any of them being bi/gay or whatever, don't pair them up with each other! Please! They're brothers! Ok, so sometimes I can handle a little sibling-love, but not here!

Transformers:
I haven't even gotten far enough to imagine how on earth their sexlife would work, so the jump to slashing them is too far for me still. (Wouldn't they need a repaint after every fuck? I mean, all the metal scraping? Or...Hmm...)

South Park:
Ew... just.... ew. They're little cardboard CHILDREN! All I'm sayin.

Simpsons:
No reason really. Just makes my skin crawl no matter how you write it.

The Stuff That's not horrible, but not my thing either:

Harry Potter:
Now I love this universe and own all the books. And frankly, I like the characters the way they are. I can live with the occasional Remus/Sirius or Dumbledore/Grindelwald or such. But most of the main chars just fit best in my mind the way they are.

Pirates Of The Caribbean:
I would be willing to admit that Sparrow is open to just about anything, but... I doubt Will Turner is. Don't pair them please. Jack kissing Will just to freak him out would be the major lols, but beyond that... nah.

Ed, Edd and Eddie:
I'm having enough problems just imagining them as 'real' preople...

LOTR:
Hobbits... As funny as I think it is imagining Merry/Pippin or Frodo/Sam as the gay love stories of middle earth, it just doesn't race my motor. I've seen some lovely artwork, I'll admit that any day. But the stories doesn't really catch my fancy. Now the elves on the other hand...

I'm sure there's more, but this is what I just came across browsing deviantart for about half an hour.

Comments

[bibsy-bebs.livejournal.com]

I HATE Harry/Snape slash....I'm too much of a Lily/Snape shipper to allow it to happen.

LOL @ Ed, Edd and Eddie!

[xiilnek.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't they need a repaint after every fuck?

Heh.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

I just can't help but wonder...

[xiilnek.livejournal.com]

Maybe that's part of the afterglow.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Oh gawd... maybe for them it's like human post-coital snuggles to give each other a thorough wax-job?

(Ew... wax-job... that sounds naughty in the bad way, somehow...)

[cyranothe2nd.livejournal.com]

I ship Harry Potter hardcore: Harry/Draco, Snape/Hermione, Sirius/Lupin. Sometimes I change it up with some Snape/Lupin...really Snape and anybody (but James or Lily) does it for me...

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Whatever races your motor. :o)

I do love Snape so very much, so I can't blame you for sending mush love his way either.

[macboris.livejournal.com]

...
I read a fic of EVRY one of your list. Ones I enjoyed, mind yu, and yes, I know I'm no example since I'm one of the most twisted people here, BUT

In ninja turtles you can have shredder/some one that's not necesserily a turtle or splinter,
and LOTR? COME ON! Have you never seen the homosexual subtext of creatures that are NOT hobbits? It's practically everywhere, in every one of Tolkien's books (although he was catholic...).

Simpsons have good slash as long as you find the right pairings, and POTC simply asks for it. I know Will isn't the most wild person ever, but if you get him going and there's rum in the area he could have sex with the godddamn squid creature! (speaking of which, squid creature whose name I forgot/Jack is good).

I rather dislike HP, but I slash that's not the banal harry/draco(/ron) or whatever can be good.

Start thinking minor characters! They're the sexiest.

EE&E is pure gay, and you don't have to imagine them as real people for them to have sex.

South Park.. Yeah, they're cardboard, and here comes the better end of imagining as real people & older.

And Transformers? I really don't know. It's the only one I didn't read. Hell, I didn't even watch transformers as a kid. I didn't have it on my TV...

So yeah, you should try some of the less popular pairs, and talk to me more. This is bound to make a pervert out of you.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Oh I don't mind non-turtle/turtle slashing in the TMNT universe. Just doesn't really race my motor, but turtle/turtle makes me go eeeek!

Simpsons.... ew... just... ew. I don't think I'll ever get over my dislike here.

POTC.... well... each his own I suppose.

Like I said, sometimes a 'little' HP slash is cool, and yes, I agree that minor characters is the way to go.

EE&E usually make me go 'HUH' completely on its own without the slash aspect. That might have something to do with it.

And South Park is often a little bit of the same. Half the time I laugh, but the other half I have to shrug and shake my head.

[macboris.livejournal.com]

Maybe I see EE&E differetly since I only watched it before I knew english (with no subtitles).
I won't write anymore since my fingers are fucking sore from all the playing on my new bass.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Yes, btw, where are all those pictures of this wonderful bass that you promised to post, huh?

[macboris.livejournal.com]

For some reason LJ doesn't let me post anything for the last few days. The posting ability simply doesn't work.

[mrs-picard.livejournal.com]

I must admit I read Turtles slash sometimes. It takes a little time getting used to, but after the initial ZOMGEEEW reaction, it's actually quite interesting sometimes. Although I could easily do without that kind of stuff. ;)

I see your point when it comes to LOTR hobbit slash. That creeps me out - but only if it's Gandalf/Frodo, for example. It's just... WRONG somehow. Now, Gandalf/Saruman - HOT HOT HOT!!!! *lol*

A friend of mine writes/wrote Picard/Elrond and it's damn HOT, so I can't say I'm not interested in elves... LOL. (Elrond's the only one I find to be intriguing, though.)

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Elves are just begging to be slashed. Period.

I think I can manage slash in the TMNT fandom... just not turtle/turtle slash. Nothing like a bit of twincest, but damn... I just cannot take it with my shell heroes. :o(

(Still have my crush on Mikey. KTXBAI)