Am I doing something wrong?

[ladydrace]

By advice from the health visitor, Pea should be sleeping outside as much as possible. (Or in this case on our balcony.) Supposedly it should be healthier and help him sleep.

Only problem is, I haven't seen him sleep any better out there. He wakes up just as often. So these days he doesn't sleep out there at all, because the more his tummy trouble bothers him, the more he wakes up. And when he wakes up so often, I want to be close to him. To prevent him from feeling it too much, I try to soothe him back to sleep the second he wakes up. If I manage to caox him back to sleep immediately, he doesn't need more than that. But if he starts crying, he wakes up so much he'll need rocking for 30 mins to fall asleep again.

Maybe it's just me being paranoid, but the health visitor seems to be unable to understand why I can't just leave him out there. It's not that I think he'll die if he cries for a bit. Trust me, he's allowed to cry when things suck (Like when he gets dressed. He HATES that.) but I just cannot let my baby lie there and just cry and cry.

Am I being overprotective?

Feeling very depressed and inadequate today. :o(

Comments

[nerdboyout.livejournal.com]

I've never heard someone saying to leave a baby outside. When I was a baby, I slept inside and never had breast milk, and I think I turned out pretty okay. Doctors may think they know everything, but he's YOUR kid, YOU'RE the mom, so it's all up to you. I honestly believe you know what's best for your kid. You're doing a great job.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I need to hear stuff like that right now.

[lilyoftheval5.livejournal.com]

Well, my advice comes secondhand, from what my mother told me about brother and I.

Apparently she would come running whenever we went into tantrum or got upset, and stayed with us till we calmed down.
She soon realized that we are very smart and kept crying because we wanted the attention.
Her conclusion: let them cry and exhaust themselves to sleep.

It sounds callous, especially to a new mother with a young one. But soon, we learned that crying would get us nothing and slowly stopped.


The fact that he wakes up because of pain, most probably,.... I guess it's up to your judgment.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

I doubt it's the same thing. He doesn't stop crying when we pick him up. If he just wanted our attention, he'd stop crying when he got it, wouldn't he?

I know the idea, but I firmly believe that children this young aren't smart enough yet to get idea like that.

Just my opinion. Thanks for the input, though.

[birggitt.livejournal.com]

But of course you are not being overprotective!
And I never heard about letting a baby sleep outside. My son never slept outside as a baby, and he is perfectly fine...
And, about let the baby cry? I'm all the way with you. It's not the same when he's crying because he doesn't like something, than when he's crying because he's in pain.
A baby in pain needs his mom, the comfort and security that only feel and smell his mom can give him.
So, you keep doing what your heart is telling to do, you are not wrong, and you are not doing anything wrong.
Oh! And when my baby had stomach cramps, he soothes a lot if I rubbed his belly in circles, helping him with the air in his bowels.
*hugs*

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I do the circling a lot, plus some leg-cycling movements and anything else I can think of. But so far the only thing having any effect have been the uber laxative. Only, it worked a little too well. It's a delicate balance.

But thank you so much for your faith in my parenting skills. I need to hear it today.

[xiilnek.livejournal.com]

You're NOT being ridiculous. What the hell difference does keeping him outside make?

If you see no difference, it doesn't make sense to do it. Since he takes longer to go to sleep if he starts crying, it seems like sleeping outside makes things worse.

It would be a bad idea of the health visitor to assume all children react the same to any given thing. I think the wise thing is to treat him based on his behavior, not based on how someone thinks he should be reacting.

Your instincts are right on! Sounds to me like you're being a great mum, don't let any quacks tell you any different.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Well, apparently it's a Danish thing. Tradition or whatever. The health visitor is convinced he sleeps better outside. I can't say I've seen any difference. But maybe when he's a little older.

Aw thanks. *hugs*

[lonespark.livejournal.com]

Is the health advisor there when he's sleeping? If not, then what the hell does that person know? Cold outside air is good if they have croup, but he doesn't, right?

My kids always sleep in my bed when they're sick. They need as much comfort as they can get and I need as much sleep as I can get. Some people don't sleep well if they can hear the baby breathe or whatever, others vice versa, and the same for babies.

You are the one who knows your baby. If he has problems, you will get outside help. But if people are trying to solve problems he doesn't have or somehow perfect him, I suggest smiling whilst thinking of them as crazy yet harmless. You (and you husband) are the authority on your baby.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

:o)

[cyranothe2nd.livejournal.com]

I agree, sleeping outside is pretty fishy advice. And no, you aren't being overprotective. My daughter is 11 and I wouldn't let her sleep outside alone. No way! You are completely right.

And some advice about the bowel thing, two things your could try: One, when he cries from the pain of trying to poop you could massage his tummy. Or two, bring his legs up to his tummy so that he is "squatting". Both may help him pass stool easier.

Keep at it and don't listen to these "experts". YOU are his mother. YOU know your baby better than anyone. Trust your instincts. You aren't going to mess him up.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Aw thanks. :o)