ladydrace | Phew, what a day.

Had a meeting with job advisor today. I'm starting Monday. And surprisingly, I'm kinda looking forward to it! I'm going to take Sally the Netbook with me and I'm allowed to just sit there and write fanfic for 2 days a week. Now if that isn't luxury, I don't know what is.

Big, confusing round trip of social advisors and financial people and and and... gah.

Talking with B turned out to be great. I seem to have forgotten that I've actually known the man for almost 10 years, so just because he's done me wrong doesn't mean he's a completely different person. I always believed he would make a good father given the chance and I can see now that I haven't exactly been making it easy for him to prove that he can.

I refuse to end up like those manipulative bitches who just have to know every little thing about their ex's life and sadly, I've come very close to being that woman. And I don't like it. So we agreed that B would let me know what's going on more and I'd butt out more. Pea seems happy and that's all that matters. The rest is basically details. If he ends up somewhat confused, it's only temporary and he will always be loved. Always. I have to remember that.

This doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to get angry, but I just think I should remind myself that as difficult as B has been making things practically, I've been just as bad to him emotionally.

Divorce sucks. I think that's just about the core of this. And no matter what, Floozie and I will always have a somewhat strained relationship. And that's also ok. She's a good person as far as I know and she would never do anything to harm Pea. So I'll live with the weeks of daddy-time and keep my own routines when it's my turn. I cannot control daddy-weeks and I have to stop trying. I have plenty of other things to do with my energy. Like writing porn. *nod*

Also, I'm now the proud owner of a webcam. :oP