Writer's Block - Anti-bullying month.
Oct. 11th, 2011 10:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladydraceNot gonna post the widget thingy, because I want this on both LJ and DW and the coding tends to fuck up. So the question was:
Who is the biggest bully in your life?
Depressingly, I can't pick just one. If I narrow it down to the most permanent tormentors, three people stand out simply from how much of their lives they dedicated to making mine unbearable.
I've met one of them later in life and talked to one online since and as far as I can tell, they haven't changed. They even seemed to think that "it was kinda funny how mean I was". No, it wasn't.
I'm not going to go into details here (because that way lay breakdowns, and I got shit I need to do today), suffice it to say that all three of them made my life Hell.
But the direct bullying wasn't the worst bit. I could have taken anything they threw at me, if they hadn't also prevented anyone from ever wanting to be my friend. The fallout for someone admitting that they might like me even a little bit was simply too hard to contemplate and I don't blame anyone for shunning me to avoid it.
Therapy has made me aware of how much of this bullying is to blame for how I am today and I will work hard in the future to ensure my own son never has to endure it, or worse, becomes a bully himself. It's a distinct possibility due to his temper and boisterous ways.
Who is the biggest bully in your life?
Depressingly, I can't pick just one. If I narrow it down to the most permanent tormentors, three people stand out simply from how much of their lives they dedicated to making mine unbearable.
I've met one of them later in life and talked to one online since and as far as I can tell, they haven't changed. They even seemed to think that "it was kinda funny how mean I was". No, it wasn't.
I'm not going to go into details here (because that way lay breakdowns, and I got shit I need to do today), suffice it to say that all three of them made my life Hell.
But the direct bullying wasn't the worst bit. I could have taken anything they threw at me, if they hadn't also prevented anyone from ever wanting to be my friend. The fallout for someone admitting that they might like me even a little bit was simply too hard to contemplate and I don't blame anyone for shunning me to avoid it.
Therapy has made me aware of how much of this bullying is to blame for how I am today and I will work hard in the future to ensure my own son never has to endure it, or worse, becomes a bully himself. It's a distinct possibility due to his temper and boisterous ways.
