About Pea, autism and just being a kid.
May. 16th, 2013 12:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
A lot of the time these days I'm getting earful after earful about how serious it is to have a kid with autism, and yeah, sure, I see what they're getting at. But honestly, 90% of the time, the autism is invisible to me. Not that I forget he has it, not at all. But unless we're having conflicts, Pea is generally just... my son. He has quirks, which I'm sure some people would label "not normal" because it fits in with autism symptoms, but a lot of these are the same to me as any other kid with a preference for something.
So just because it's on my mind, here are a few things that are apparently an autism thing, but to me feels like just my kid.
- Music. Pea does not like music. Out on the town or on the car radio or on tv, it's okay. But no turning on the stereo at home, and 9 times out of 10, no singing from me. It's a bummer, but living with someone else, even a kid, means that sometimes you have to bend a little.
- No using the vacuum cleaner when he's in the house. That thing scares him shitless. My mother tells me I was the same with lawnmowers at his age, so how this is related to autism is vague to me.
- Dialogue quoting. Anything from cartoons to comic books, after a few times Pea can quote them from start to finish. Best game in the world for him is if we act out the different roles. The fact that we're doing it 300 times in a row is tiring, but hey, I get passionate about stuff too.
- Playing in the dirt. He's a kid. Honestly, how this is not normal baffles me.
- Extreme focus on one kind of food. I can't blame a kid for wanting the one thing he likes most right now. And as long as he's eating a few other things in between, I see nothing wrong with letting him eat the same thing day in and day out. Call me a bad mother, but that's how I feel.
- Slow development. This is worrying, I agree completely. But why do we need to push him to "catch up"? As long as he's happy and physically healthy, I have no problem with my kid having only the abilities of a younger child. He's gonna need special aid anyway, so why make it even harder for him by pressuring him to reach some kind of magical line? He's already using so much energy just dealing with how his perception of the world fucks up on a regular basis, I just don't see why I have to stick his nose in a book every time he's relaxed and content.
- Dislike of eye contact. I have that too, sweetie pie.
Fun fact: the people dealing with Pea often express disbelief when I tell them he sleeps perfectly well at night with no special aid stuff. And I'm like... "as if the problems he's already dealing with aren't enough for you?"
So just because it's on my mind, here are a few things that are apparently an autism thing, but to me feels like just my kid.
- Music. Pea does not like music. Out on the town or on the car radio or on tv, it's okay. But no turning on the stereo at home, and 9 times out of 10, no singing from me. It's a bummer, but living with someone else, even a kid, means that sometimes you have to bend a little.
- No using the vacuum cleaner when he's in the house. That thing scares him shitless. My mother tells me I was the same with lawnmowers at his age, so how this is related to autism is vague to me.
- Dialogue quoting. Anything from cartoons to comic books, after a few times Pea can quote them from start to finish. Best game in the world for him is if we act out the different roles. The fact that we're doing it 300 times in a row is tiring, but hey, I get passionate about stuff too.
- Playing in the dirt. He's a kid. Honestly, how this is not normal baffles me.
- Extreme focus on one kind of food. I can't blame a kid for wanting the one thing he likes most right now. And as long as he's eating a few other things in between, I see nothing wrong with letting him eat the same thing day in and day out. Call me a bad mother, but that's how I feel.
- Slow development. This is worrying, I agree completely. But why do we need to push him to "catch up"? As long as he's happy and physically healthy, I have no problem with my kid having only the abilities of a younger child. He's gonna need special aid anyway, so why make it even harder for him by pressuring him to reach some kind of magical line? He's already using so much energy just dealing with how his perception of the world fucks up on a regular basis, I just don't see why I have to stick his nose in a book every time he's relaxed and content.
- Dislike of eye contact. I have that too, sweetie pie.
Fun fact: the people dealing with Pea often express disbelief when I tell them he sleeps perfectly well at night with no special aid stuff. And I'm like... "as if the problems he's already dealing with aren't enough for you?"