Countdown.

[ladydrace]

Okay, so I've gotten some preliminary dates. Due to summer holidays across the board we've been fortunate enough to be allowed to keep Pea over the summer. 9 more weeks until he goes away. The introduction and move itself will take place over the course of a single week, because apparently this is what experience has taught the foster family is best. Meanwhile I get to prepare Pea nice and slowly for the fact that he's going to go to these people. I doubt I can really explain to him that he's supposed to live with them, but preparation is everything, so the more he's aware of the change coming, the better.

And then I won't be able to have him home for 6 whole fucking months. I'm not sure how much I'll be allowed to visit, either, but goddammit, I hope I'll be allowed some. Because it hurts my heart just thinking about it. After that the plan is to slowly start having him home with me every other weekend, and maybe 3 entire weeks a year. B is apparently getting a different deal, but since he's hardly even willing to talk to me these days I have no idea.

When he does talk to me, all he does is whine about how he feels useless. He never does anything. Never seeks help, never tries to improve things for himself or Pea, never tries to change anything at all. My sympathy for him started to run dry ages ago, and we're scraping the bottom now. If he wants Pea around more, he's going to have to take steps to accommodate Pea's needs. Which he has never done, despite repeated promises. I am done waiting for him to act.

My sisters have not said a single word to me about this whole thing, and I'm sort of naïvely hoping it'll stay that way. Because what I don't need right now is to defend my reasons for accepting this. They might be willing to gamble everything for the slightest chance, but I'm not. The time I would spend battling the system could be much better spent helping Pea. And if the county won't allow me to do it, then fine, I'll step back and let someone else. I won't like it, but I'll accept it.

Comments

[angrboda]

I think you're doing the right thing with accepting it even though it's an awful thing to be forced to do. The risk of loss would just be too great if the county decided to hold fighting the decision against you when it came to seeing your boy. It seems to me that people who say they are willing to gamble everything really haven't thought it through. Possibly because it would only by a hypothetical situation for them. I don't think they can quite imagine that if it was them, they might not win.

Sounds like it's a family who has tried it before. That's good, I think. They know exactly what they can expect from him and then maybe he can learn faster what he can expect from them.

[ladydrace]

Oh yeah, we're really quite lucky with the foster family. They're ridiculously experienced with autistic children and so well-educated that I feel out of breath just skimming their resume.

And they seem really nice. If Pea has to go, then at least it's a tiny comfort that I think I can trust these people.