Clawing my way back to the world.

[ladydrace]

So, it's been ages since I updated here. A lot has happened and I think it's slowly sinking in.

Pea left home on Friday. The foster parents are super nice and call me every other day to tell me in great detail what Pea is up to. They say he misses me, but accepts the new situation well enough. Sleeps well, eats well and spends all day out on their wonderful grounds, climbing hills or walking in the forest or roughhousing with the family's only other foster child; a pre-teen boy.

They say he's wonderful, but I guess they're kinda obligated to say that. But then again, if he stays as super-cute as he was during the first visits, then he probably is a little angel.

I miss him so fucking much already.

I'm coping better than I thought I would. I haven't fallen into a complete depressive stupor, but I admit it's been kind of a struggle pulling myself together and doing things. But I try to get out of the door at least once a day (try being the operative word here), and I've made a list of fairly large tasks that need doing, which I have been putting off forever because Pea was around. So it's not too bad.

That said, I am constantly on the verge of tears and every time I have to pick up or move something of Pea's I get a serious twinge in my chest. Because this isn't home for him any more. And only God knows when or if it ever will be again.

There was a lot more I wanted to share, but... it still hurts too much.

Comments

[lonespark]

Hey, it's good to hear from you.

Share what you can, when sharing helps more than hurts.

All the hugs to you and your beautiful boy forever.

[seriesfive]

It's good to hear from you. I hope you'll find all the strength necessary to get through this...amd yes, getting out of the house at least once a day IS a good everyday objective!