Blast from the uhm... present?

[ladydrace]

I just got a text message (it's 1 AM here btw) from a RL friend. We don't talk much, but we've known each other for years. I've stood by her through a LOT of her troubles. I've taken over loads of her pet rats several times when she crashed mentally or had financial troubles. I stood by her when she walked out on her fiancé to go live with another guy, and I still stood by her when she went back to the fiancé not 6 months later. I defended her when she got bashed on the web for years over this and that. And though I didn't always agree with her choices, I stood by her and tried not to judge her.

Now her fiancé has apparently had enough. He's leaving and if you ask me, he's being extremely nice about it, helping to pay rent until she can find some other place to live. We haven't talked for months and now all of a sudden I get a text from her. Because SHE is in trouble. And I just KNOW that it's only a matter of hours before she'll be asking me to take over yet another 20 pets she can't afford to keep on her own, or help her move, or talk to the fiancé or something. But this time, I have to draw the line.

I've taken a fair bit of crap from her over the years and not gotten a lot in return for my support. And this time, I simply cannot spare any sympathy or aid. I've got plenty on my own plate. I'll gladly send her my regrets and say the right words of comfort, but I cannot offer any kind of physical aid. Seriously. This time, she's not even getting a night on my couch. Enough is enough. I got my budding family to worry about and Green Pea comes before everything else.

I feel cold hearted, but really, my heart belongs to my husband and unborn child. She will not be getting any help this time. She's got family and other friends. She can crawl someplace else for once. Cause I'm through.

Comments

[bibsy-bebs.livejournal.com]

You aren't being cold hearted at all, you have offered so much help and support to this person that there has to be a point when you can't anymore. This is clearly the point, I'm assuming she knows that you have a lot going on at the moment so really she should understand.

As you said you have your own family to think about now and they must come first, I think you are making the right choice.

*hugs* Well done for taking a stand, it's for the best for both of you really. You get to focus on you and your family and she will learn to rely on herself rather than others, so really everybody wins!

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

I really hope it works out that way. But really, I'm beyond caring. If she decides to hate me for this, then so be it. No great loss.

[cyranothe2nd.livejournal.com]

If she decides to hate you then she wasn't a true friend...she was using you and when you refused to be used she didn't want to know you anymore.

You have to look out for you and yours 1st. You aren't obligated to always pick up the pieces for her. She's an adult and maybe its time that she was responsible for herself.