Therapy and stuff...

[ladydrace]

Therapy today was a doozey. First the group session where I did my best to participate, despite feeling so mentally tired that I thought I would pass out. Then my personal session where I spent most of the time trying to explain exactly what made me so tired and 5 mins before my time was up, I started crying. And kept on crying. Eventually I left my shrink's office and went to the bathroom to finish crying. I think I stood there for about 10 mins and sobbed my heart out. When it was over I was completely numb.

I went grocery shopping through the busy streets that usually make me uneasy, but I didn't feel a thing. Nothing at all. I'm not sure that's a good thing. Aren't I supposed to get more in touch with my feelings? I'm worried that I'm simply filing it somewhere in my brain until it runs over again. And that really sucks. But I dunno. I'm confused, concerned and tired. So very very tired. My soul is heavy and I feel old.

I'm too tired to write more.

Comments

[lonespark.livejournal.com]

No.

I really think, for people with depression/anxiety, the short answer is no, we do not need to be more in touch with our feelings. We need to not deny them. We need to learn to speak up clearly about what we feel and how it's affecting us. But in the end, we are actually trying to have the feelings be less intense, and have them affect us less. To take things less personally. To let other people's actions and random events of the day just roll off.

Getting in touch with good feelings and spending more time experiencing them and remembering them and trying to replicate them is important and wonderful. But, really, I think therapy that only got you (not you, personally, the general "you") "in touch with your feelings" would not help you, and could hurt you and delay treatment to make you better.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

"But in the end, we are actually trying to have the feelings be less intense, and have them affect us less. To take things less personally. To let other people's actions and random events of the day just roll off."

Wow... that really hits the nail on the head! I think I need to reconsider exactly what I'm working towards with therapy. Having a goal would help, I suspect.