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[personal profile] ladydrace
Therapy today was a doozey. First the group session where I did my best to participate, despite feeling so mentally tired that I thought I would pass out. Then my personal session where I spent most of the time trying to explain exactly what made me so tired and 5 mins before my time was up, I started crying. And kept on crying. Eventually I left my shrink's office and went to the bathroom to finish crying. I think I stood there for about 10 mins and sobbed my heart out. When it was over I was completely numb.

I went grocery shopping through the busy streets that usually make me uneasy, but I didn't feel a thing. Nothing at all. I'm not sure that's a good thing. Aren't I supposed to get more in touch with my feelings? I'm worried that I'm simply filing it somewhere in my brain until it runs over again. And that really sucks. But I dunno. I'm confused, concerned and tired. So very very tired. My soul is heavy and I feel old.

I'm too tired to write more.

Date: 2009-08-28 04:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] abrandnewworld.livejournal.com
Crying it out is a good thing. Feeling numb might just be you owning it and letting it all out. I'm a bit exhausted myself right now so i didn't read your other comments...might be repeating what is now obvious

Recovery is hard work.. you'll feel tired. It's ok. Just remember that emotions aren't wrong. Feel it, own it, roll around in it... then take action on it.. the negative ones will eventually lose power.

Date: 2009-08-28 04:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-drace.livejournal.com
God I really hope so. Thanks!

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Lady Drace

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