Gay children.
Oct. 12th, 2009 11:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladydraceHere's the thing. Following the Coming Out Day I've been made aware of by my f-list, I've returned to some of the thoughts I've had for years about what I'd do if my kid suddenly said one day: "I'm gay."
Now, considering my generally open minded approach to the GLBT oriented, I hope I'll be able to handle it well enogh to not create a rift between my kid and myself. But there is a conversation I'd like to have with my child, if the day comes. And here I'd like to appeal to the GLBT people on my f-list for an opinion on whether this is even something that should be adressed (I could be all wrong, I haven't actually had to live the life of someone 'out' at all) or if I'm just being a silly mom.
Thing is: If Pea comes up to me in his early teens and says: "Mom, I'm gay." Just out of the blue with no hint of any attraction to anything but girls up until now, I think I'd ask him to think it over just for a little while, before broadcasting it to the world. Mostly for his own protection, as I know some of the ugly behaviour that will be pointed your way if you go out and proclaim yourself gay. I'm sorry, but the world today doesn't seem ready to accept everybody yet.
My reason for this reaction is not only that I wouldn't want him to subject himself to the hate, but also that it could turn out to be nothing. Most of us go through periods of being sexually attracted to everything that breathes in our hormone overloaded teens (and in my personal experience, even some items that don't) and if he's just going through a fase, I don't want him to have to explain himself over and over, if he ends up being with a girl after telling everyone that he's gay. Or worse, confirm some of those completely rifdiculous ideas that some people have, that being gay just means you haven't met the right girl yet, or something.
BUT! If my boy comes to me, say in his early twenties with the same claim, I don't think I'd need that talk. I could resonably assume that he's been out there, experiementing and getting to know himself, and I think I'd see it as a more... informed decision than the same message would appear 10 years earlier in his life.
Am I right to think this way? Any input would be much appreciated. THINK OF THE CHILDREN! (Or in this case, Pea. )
Now, considering my generally open minded approach to the GLBT oriented, I hope I'll be able to handle it well enogh to not create a rift between my kid and myself. But there is a conversation I'd like to have with my child, if the day comes. And here I'd like to appeal to the GLBT people on my f-list for an opinion on whether this is even something that should be adressed (I could be all wrong, I haven't actually had to live the life of someone 'out' at all) or if I'm just being a silly mom.
Thing is: If Pea comes up to me in his early teens and says: "Mom, I'm gay." Just out of the blue with no hint of any attraction to anything but girls up until now, I think I'd ask him to think it over just for a little while, before broadcasting it to the world. Mostly for his own protection, as I know some of the ugly behaviour that will be pointed your way if you go out and proclaim yourself gay. I'm sorry, but the world today doesn't seem ready to accept everybody yet.
My reason for this reaction is not only that I wouldn't want him to subject himself to the hate, but also that it could turn out to be nothing. Most of us go through periods of being sexually attracted to everything that breathes in our hormone overloaded teens (and in my personal experience, even some items that don't) and if he's just going through a fase, I don't want him to have to explain himself over and over, if he ends up being with a girl after telling everyone that he's gay. Or worse, confirm some of those completely rifdiculous ideas that some people have, that being gay just means you haven't met the right girl yet, or something.
BUT! If my boy comes to me, say in his early twenties with the same claim, I don't think I'd need that talk. I could resonably assume that he's been out there, experiementing and getting to know himself, and I think I'd see it as a more... informed decision than the same message would appear 10 years earlier in his life.
Am I right to think this way? Any input would be much appreciated. THINK OF THE CHILDREN! (Or in this case, Pea. )
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no subject
Date: 2009-10-13 04:43 am (UTC)Now, here in the US, kids are not so much coming out as Gay but they 'hook' up with both sexes without an identity. That is some kids, and they are cool with this. People do different things at different times. I have had 2 husbands. Got over that but it took me a long time.
Your son will grow up loved. And you will delight in him in whatever life path he goes. I have faith.