Weird, yet awesome day.
Mar. 12th, 2013 05:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladydraceToday was great. Not only was my general faith in humanity restored when I finally managed to sell Pea's baby carriage, after having been blown off very rudely three times by potential buyers, but upon coming home form daycare, the most extraordinary thing happened.
Pea wanted to go to the playground, so we did. There was another mother and her barely 2-year old there, and I immediately got a little anxious, since it's always 50/50 whether Pea is okay with other kids or not. Turns out that Pea absolutely adored that little guy and happily played with him, gentle and considerate. I was so proud. And apparently having the other kid there made Pea a little braver, so he took his first trip on a lift-slide thingy that he's so far been too afraid to try alone, and we had the best time.
And best of all, while Pea and the little kiddo was playing, me and the other mom had a spontaneous heart to heart. She lives close by and she's in similar circumstances to mine. She's also been through years of mental issues, she's also on welfare and she's also struggling to keep her baby. She seems to have won her battle, though, but she had some additional insight to offer, which frankly almost made me cry right there in the playground.
It turns out both she and her sister went into foster care, and she made it clear that while she was more than aware of how painful it must be from the mother's side, she and her sister never lacked for anything and they adore their mother, even though they only saw her once a week as they were growing up. It gives me so much hope that as Pea grows he'll learn to understand that it wasn't because I didn't love him that I allowed this to happen, and if I'd had any other choice I would have made that one instead.
Talking to this woman was such a spot of sunshine for me. Before this I never even knew how much difference it would make to talk about this to someone who has actually been there. Who understands all the issues involved, without me having to explain every step of the way. From that 10 mins chat with a complete stranger, I got my heart lightened more than years of therapy ever managed.
My faith in the world has been restored for a time. Thank god.
Pea wanted to go to the playground, so we did. There was another mother and her barely 2-year old there, and I immediately got a little anxious, since it's always 50/50 whether Pea is okay with other kids or not. Turns out that Pea absolutely adored that little guy and happily played with him, gentle and considerate. I was so proud. And apparently having the other kid there made Pea a little braver, so he took his first trip on a lift-slide thingy that he's so far been too afraid to try alone, and we had the best time.
And best of all, while Pea and the little kiddo was playing, me and the other mom had a spontaneous heart to heart. She lives close by and she's in similar circumstances to mine. She's also been through years of mental issues, she's also on welfare and she's also struggling to keep her baby. She seems to have won her battle, though, but she had some additional insight to offer, which frankly almost made me cry right there in the playground.
It turns out both she and her sister went into foster care, and she made it clear that while she was more than aware of how painful it must be from the mother's side, she and her sister never lacked for anything and they adore their mother, even though they only saw her once a week as they were growing up. It gives me so much hope that as Pea grows he'll learn to understand that it wasn't because I didn't love him that I allowed this to happen, and if I'd had any other choice I would have made that one instead.
Talking to this woman was such a spot of sunshine for me. Before this I never even knew how much difference it would make to talk about this to someone who has actually been there. Who understands all the issues involved, without me having to explain every step of the way. From that 10 mins chat with a complete stranger, I got my heart lightened more than years of therapy ever managed.
My faith in the world has been restored for a time. Thank god.
