Wow, my life is being really stressful right now and in an effort to keep things straight in my head, and maybe try not to panic, I'm gonna try and write it all out here.
Green Pea:
-He is signed up for a special needs kindergarten, hopefully starting in August. That's finally settled completely.
-His special caretaker is working absolute wonders with him and he adores her. And better still, I feel really good about her, which I can most certainly NOT say about his daily caretaker.
-And on that subject, she has expressed worry that Pea might be having some asthma, but I personally think her grounds for that are very slim. But to keep the peace, I have contacted the doctor for an appointment this week. However, since Pea's currently not having symptoms, I wonder what they might look for in him. I'll have to call them tomorrow and ask if they want to wait to see him until he has symptoms again.
-We were also offered additional parenting advice from the county and we took it, to at least not seem ungrateful. So far they have had nothing to offer, telling us that Pea is doing great and that it's extremely limited what they might help us with. This is good, but we're letting their evaluation continue to the end, which means at least 2 more home visits and one major meeting. Ugh. I don't like "official" visitors. Scratch that. I don't like visitors, period.
-Pea personally is doing well. Learning to talk at super sonic speed and giving up pacifiers without too much of a fuss. I'm so proud of him.
Me:
-Still no word from the psychiatrist my doctor referred me to. But I didn't expect it so soon either. Waiting lists are a bitch.
-My meds are proving to need more adjustment than I expected. It could be because I'm older now, or maybe I've just gotten worse. In any case, I've had to be a little creative and sometimes skip a dosage to get stuff done. It's probably not something that would be advised by any doctor, but it's what's currently working for me.
-Went to a meeting with my job councilor at the county. She was appalled to hear how my doctor treated me, and implored me to get a new one. I agree with her that it would probably be best, but I'm angsting over it a lot, because I've switched doctors so many times in the past. It makes me feel like I'm some sort of hypochondriac, ditching the doctors who won't give me pills. I know that's not the case, but my head likes to tell me I suck. *le sigh* But I will be looking into it at least.
-The councilor also convinced me to get some home aid. I'm not entirely sure what it'll be for yet, but if nothing else, it will be someone to hold my hand for stuff like switching doctors. No knowing when (or if) I'll even get one, so for the moment this is just a possibility.
-I'm also having some mild money troubles, but hopefully they should be over by April. Not feeling desperate yet, thank god.
-The good news is that I'm fairly healthy at the moment. Not sick, for once, sleeping at night and generally feeling good physically. I'm tired, but that's just life with mental illness. I can't even remember the last time I wasn't constantly tired.
TL;DR: There's an awful lot of people involved in my life at the moment, and my knee-jerk response to that is to tell them all to fuck off and leave me alone. But sadly, that would be counterproductive right now, so I shall endure. The battle to get better and be a good mom continues. *hoists banner and peeps out a weary battle cry*
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