Pics?

[ladydrace]

I just posted this on Tumblr, but then I realized that no one would be able to actually discuss it with me, so I'm posting it here too.

NSFW TEXT AHEAD!

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I suddenly had the thought… if dick pics are so rampant in straight and gay male circles, what about lesbian circles? Are vagina pics a thing? Muff motifs? Pussy pics? Snatch snaps? Clam caps?

Comments

[whit_merule]

I... well, firstly, haven't ever heard of it, and my instinct would be to say it'd be breasts/cleavage rather than genitalia for women, but... um. That begs the question of why.

And I think it's that - surely even in lesbian circles - vaginas aren't the equivalent of penises.

Sending someone a picture of a penis says 'here is something that I can use on you'. Sending someone a picture of a vagina says 'here is something you can do something to'. Even in exclusively female-oriented circles... a vagina remains a passive symbol, I think? Breasts are something you can wield, dress, flaunt, lean forward to display - or, you know, in a less sexual way, lean your cup on, use to steady something again, you can use the bra as a handy couple of pockets, and so on. We can relate to our breasts, and use them. Vaginas... okay, so we relate to them a bit but usually only when it's explicitly sexual, and only by doing things to them.

A lot of the time, when men flaunt a penis, it's not about sex but about social interaction - about dominance in some way. It's a symbol of more than sex.

There's no way to make a vagina its equivalent. And even with all that aside.... even if you are thinking in a non-misogynistic way, thinking as somebody who likes vaginas, you'd be thinking about 'what can I do to that vagina to make it feel good'. It's still an object to be approached, rather than a subject that approaches you So sending a picture of a vagina just... doesn't equate, imo.

[ladydrace]

Well, it's a valid theory, but in my limited experience with lesbian social circles, there does seem to be a greater number of woman who take on the part of the aggressive pursuer. Meaning women who consistently take the initiative, often in an overly confident way, to the point where politely declining doesn't seem an option.

Even in spaces with exclusively women, the binary social norms still thrive, and certain people will always resonate more with the kind of behavior usually considered masculine.

For them, perhaps, the vagina pic would seem a useful tactic, and would probably be just about as welcome as the classic dick pic.

[whit_merule]

Fair enough! But I'd question whether, even with women who do take on that persona, the vagina is a body part that can helpfully symbolise that role? I'd still think it'd be something like the breasts, or even the mouth (especially since there's so much feminine autonomy assocaited with make-up and lips and so on). But that said, aside from actually, you know, sleepign with a woman (sleeping far more often than 'sleeping', but that too), my knowledge of lesbian social circles / culture is pretty much 0.

[ladydrace]

Possibly a strap-on pic would be more poignant?

But, then again, that's assuming the aim is penetration. It's sort of an unsaid statement of "this can be used on/in you" with dick picks, but if no penetration is involved at all, not even fingering, then that message falls flat. So if the vaginas are "equal" the message should in theory be different. In theory. The question then becomes: can a vagina be the aggressor here? "Imagine this on your face" just doesn't have quite the same ring to it, IMO.

But I think you're right in the sense that it's probably not a thing. Especially since even (or perhaps especially) lesbian women have no doubt recieved unwanted genital pics themselves, and would be more aware of how unwelcome they are in general.

[whit_merule]

Yes - and since such a lot of the meaning of PENIS IN YOUR FACE is rooted (hah) in gender dynamics - even in a m/m context - it's tricky to see how/whether that would translate across.

This is what happens when we have sexualities that are so very invisible across so much of history. We have no cultural language fo rthem!

[ladydrace]

Yeah, the binary isn't really doing us any favors here.

[whit_merule]

(also, look at you putting content on dreamwidth that is actually better for this medium rather than adapted-from-tumblr content. you're absolutely right: this place is better for in-depth discussions! I might have to, eg, post my next episode reaction here, maybe with links to a couple of reactions on tumblr that I found interesting and am in part responding to, that sort of thing.)

[ladydrace]

I've actually seen crossposting happen from DW to Tumblr, in the sense that you post on DW, and then there's a crosspost to Tumblr with an automatic "read more" that takes you to DW for further reading/commenting. I'm gonna look into that further to find out how that works, and see if it's something I want to bother with. I might not, because it could mess with privacy settings and such, but yeah. Definitely gonna look into it.

[whit_merule]

Yes, I did have DW's 'crosspost to LJ' feature set up for a while there, but i haven't tried crossposting to tumblr yet. I think I'd prefer doing it myself just because I'd say things in a different way and tag differently and insert the 'read more' break at a different point on tumblr than on here, you know?

[ladydrace]

Yeah, good point.