Reading porn... or not.

[ladydrace]

Ok, some things should just not be allowed in sex scenes. The word bollocks for one. Unless it's in context of "bollocks! The condom broke!" I don't wanna hear it! Also... piss slit? Erk... did the word 'piss' really have to be there? It's a multi-purpose orifice after all...

Just for the record! There is nothing wrong with these words... in the right context! If we're talking brawny cockney sailors with a fetish for extreme dirty talk, then fine! Then go ahead! Scream all you want about porking the pooper or stuffing arse or screwing bum.

Maybe I'm just being picky, but really... Julian Bashir's testicles should NOT be referred to as 'hairy bollocks'! *mumble grumble*

Maybe I'll just go finish my porn stories and show the world how I want it done.

Comments

[prelocandkanar.livejournal.com]

I'd never actually heard the term "bollocks" used except in a figurative way, i.e., as an expletive. And I totally agree with you; "hairy bollocks"?? About our Julian?
Pull-eeze! tut-tut.

You show 'em how it's done!

... "porking the pooper"?? Did they use that, too, or did that one spring from your fertile imagination?

I'm clearly naive and sheltered, here.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

The colorful phrases mentioned here are all from real fics. But mostly from literotica, where stuff like that belongs.

But the hairy bollocks and piss slit are from fanfics, with an otherwise completely different tone. A very jarring experience, indeed.

[mrs-picard.livejournal.com]

*loooooool*

I see your point, though. ;)

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, stuff like this makes me laugh... today it just grossed me out, I'm afraid.

[mrs-picard.livejournal.com]

Trust me, I would probably have even stopped reading such a fic.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

I should have... still nursing seared eyeballs here...

[xiilnek.livejournal.com]

That's fantastic. :D Probably someone trying to sound English (or whatever Bashir's accent is).

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

And even more horrible was the fact that it was Garak's POV AND it wasn't even spelled right! Jeez, is the world out to make me cringe???

[genclay.livejournal.com]

Ya know, I think I read that to. It really just dosen't work.

But then people have strange tastes, I'm really not one to talk :P

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Hey, I can be as kinky as the next person, I'm sure... but at least I keep my filthy talk in the porn fics where it belongs. If you're telling a fluffy romantic story, you gotta stick with it and not veer into filth so fast it makes the reader's head spin... not to mention turn me off like a light bulb...

[prelocandkanar.livejournal.com]

Wait... Julian's "hairy bollocks" popped out (sorry) in the middle of a *fluffy, romantic" fic?? And from *Garak*'s POV??? Talk about tone deaf.

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

Uh huh... Still trying to save my burnt out retinas...

[bibsy-bebs.livejournal.com]

LOL!!

They made Garak say bollocks?

What utter fools =\

[lady-drace.livejournal.com]

No, thank GOD they didn't make it dialogue!! I actually didn't think it could get worse, but making Garak say those words might actually bring it even further up the GAH-meter!